Nom de Plumage

April 8, 2012

The End of a Chapter and a Friendship is No-More

Filed under: Travel Journal — nomdeplumage @ 3:43 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

How many of you have had a ‘gut-feeling’ that was so strong and yet you still go against this instinct and have many regrets later? Why is it that we want only to please other’s and we forget the number one important person in our life – me/you? Let me elaborate!
When I was making my plans to travel, I tried to include family members and friends along the way, to help ease my loneliness, but to also see the people who mean so much in my life. It may be the last or only opportunity and I did not want to let an opportunity like this pass. So, I contacted Nadine, told her of my plans and asked if I could stop by for a few days or so? We all live our lives according to our wishes, wants and desires and it may or may not be in accordance with our family or friends? But it is our prerogative and any visitor, friend or family, no matter how long or short their stay, ultimately becomes ‘two’s company, three’s a crowd’. I have tried to live by this rule and yet I failed and paid this time round. Nadine was adamant that a few days would not be enough to see and do the sight’s of Switzerland nor would it be enough to reminisce. So I gave in!
From my previous post’s my adventure’s with her started off well and I truly believed we were having fun? But after the events of her rabbit dying, things started to change. By the end of my second week, it came to pass on the Saturday morning. We had a disagreement over the laundry and then she left for a few hours, only to come back and confront me. We had words and I volunteered to leave two days hence. Those last two days I remained in my room in the evenings to avoid her and to bare my pain and humiliation in solitude.
One can never wholly blame other’s for any wrong-doings or misunderstandings, as there are always two or more who play the game. I am certainly not innocent and wish I could replay and re-work my failings? But that is impossible. What I did not know then and what I later discovered about myself, is that I have depression, hence for my leaving home to discover myself. I found it difficult to be around someone so negative and self absorbed that I retreated into my own
mind, to deal with all the negativity. In doing that, I forgot to be a tourist and see the wonder’s and delight’s of Zurich. But what I did see was beautiful and so worth the visit to this medieval city. But what really bothered me and still does to this day, is that in all the time that I was there, I listened to my friend talk about her life, failings, unhappiness, problems with work, problems with her friends and relationships and tried to offer advice or just my attention. But in all that time, not once did she ask about me? Not once? I became a burden, someone who was invading her space and someone that she had no time to give. She asked me for three weeks, she gave me a few days.
To save face, I decided to leave and made arrangements to leave on the coming Tuesday. It was in reality the best thing that could of happened to me and it made me wake up and truly evaluate who my friends are and what I want from life?
My only regret is that it ended the way it did, for I have fond memories of our friendship. We had some great moments and laughs and tried over the past twelve years to remain in contact. But I guess all good things must end, for we are all ships passing each other in the night. We have grown apart and travel different paths and that is simply due to our different lives and living on the other side of the world. I regret the way it ended, but not that it is ended. Good friends are so hard to find and once found are precious. But it is these friends I want in my friend and as for the others……….
We have no contact with each other and that is probably for the best. I wish her no ill and in fact must say thank you, for without her throwing me out, I would have missed seeing stunning Lake Como and meeting some of the most beautiful people on my travels. The world works in mysterious ways? Onto Italy and a dream come true.


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